


Coitus Interruptus

by Mishka_kitty



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Crack Fic, M/M, SebaCiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-30
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-03-09 16:05:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3256025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mishka_kitty/pseuds/Mishka_kitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So the young master and his butler have their quality time interrupted by yet another disaster in the kitchens.<br/>This is what happens when a SebaCiel fangirl skips class to procrastinate on her school work and gets bored.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coitus Interruptus

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: We all know I don't own Black Butler cuz that's the definition of FANFIC.  
> Thanks to [Harlequinade13](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Harlequinade13/pseuds/Harlequinade13) for the beta.

"Aaaah . . . oh yes . . . Se-Sebastian, yes, there. Harder!"

"Forgive me, Ciel, but if I go any harder I fear I may split you in two."

"I don't care; I need more! Ah . . . so close I need . . . mmmh . . . Wait! What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"Young master, did you hear that?"

Ciel stared up at his butler/lover with his best glare firmly fixed in place. Admittedly it wasn't very good just now as he was too dazed and frustrated by his denied gratification.

"Sebastian, all I heard was you stopping. Sebastian, come back here!"

"Young master, I heard an explosion in the kitchens. Again. Did you not hear it? It was quite loud."

Ciel frowned and glanced up. "Um, I guess it wasn't loud enough to cover up the sound of the headboard. We're going to break the wall if you don't do something about that thing, Sebastian."

Sebastian sighed. “Young master, I really must go." His voice was tinged with irritation and regret as he glanced down to his own straining and neglected arousal. "I believe I may smell smoke."

"Don't be ridiculous," Ciel groaned, trying to pull Sebastian back into place. Not that the demon had gotten very far with Ciel's legs and arms still tightly wrapped around him. "I'm sure they can handle themselves for a little while longer. They are all adults."

"Well . . ." Sebastian hesitated, as desperate as his young master to continue where they'd left off. But just as he was deciding that maybe Ciel was right and the servants couldn't always depend on him anyway, a piercing scream came from downstairs. Accompanied by another deafening explosion. This one Ciel couldn't miss.

"What the hell are they doing," he growled in annoyance.

"Fiiiiirrrre! Mr. Sebastian I think the house is gonna burn!" The cry for help came from Finny but under his voice Sebastian could hear Bard yelling something about how it wasn't supposed to do that and Mey-rin screaming at him to just stop the thing from spreading again.

Sebastian sighed again and pried Ciel's limbs from around himself, rising from the rumpled bed. "Young master, if you do not wish the manor to burn down around us, I fear I must—"

But he was cut off by yet another explosion and even more screams.

"Oh no!"

"The gas line's broken!"

"Run!!!"

Sebastian growled in frustration and bolted for the stairs, not even bothering to cover himself as he all but flew towards the flaming kitchens. Ciel's irritated words followed on his heels, "Well do hurry up."

"I would prefer that the young master remain uncharred," he tossed back over his shoulder.

The sight which met Sebastian's eyes as he came to a halt in the kitchen doorway was pure chaos. The three servants ran around in a panic. Dishes, utensils, and ingredients were scattered everywhere. Even as he watched, Finny grabbed a huge bag of flour sitting in the corner and threw it on the fire in an apparent hope that it would dampen the flames. Naturally, it only caused a fourth deafening explosion that had Sebastian wishing his ears were not so sensitive. The fire, huge and billowing already, roared even higher and the hapless lad shrieked in surprise and terror and dashed to the other side of the room. 

There was no guessing what had originally started the conflagration; by now it was only flame and ash and burned debris. Sebastian fleetingly considered just tossing the useless idiots in the damned thing and roasting them for dinner. With a sigh, he rejected the notion and instead began to move with his usual inhuman speed and graceful competence to extinguish the blaze. The other servants froze as they saw the blur of movement that was their superior and stared as he swiftly and efficiently eliminated the threat. By the time he was finished, less than five minutes later, all three were too relieved and grateful to be too worried about their upcoming punishment. That was until the butler dropped the final water-soaked cloth over the dying embers and spun on his heel to face them.

"Now then," he said in his deadliest, most polite voice. "Would someone care to inform me why you three felt it a good idea to bring the manor down in flames around our ears? Or would you simply prefer me to teach you how to build a proper bonfire? I'm sure you three would make excellent kindling."

The three servants shrank back from those flashing eyes, certain they saw the recently deceased fire staring back at them from their depths.

"We're sorry Mr. Sebastian."

"Really, we didn't mean."

"I was just trying a new method of preparing the master's dinner."

"Please it was an accident."

"We would've gotten it put out."

The barrage of explanations and pleases from the three servants was abruptly cut off by a cough from the doorway.

"Sebastian, really. Don't be so dramatic. You've already rebuilt this house once after a fire. Don't tell me you couldn't do it again?"

"Young master," Sebastian pinched the bridge of his nose. "It isn’t that I could not but that your safety . . . Um, sir, is that my shirt?"

All three servants' eyes suddenly went wide as it finally registered that the man standing in front of them, chastising them, was very naked. And that the young earl who stood serenely in the doorway surveying the damage was dressed only in a too-long, white undershirt, which was indeed clearly Sebastian's own.

Bard stared from one to the other in utter shock.

"What the . . ."

Finny blushed bright red and quickly hid behind his hands.

And Mey-rin fainted.

Ciel sighed dramatically. "Se-ba-sti-a-n," he nearly whined, though he would deny it under torture. "You were taking too long. I got bored. And besides, your shirt was the closest thing; everything else ended up across the room. I must say though, it is quite comfortable. I think I'll keep it."

"My lord, I really don't think—"

"Oh, bah. You ran down here in the buff and you're concerned that I'm wearing your shirt. At least I had the decency to put something on. And somebody wake up Mey-rin."

Bard looked as though he wasn't sure whether to laugh or scream at this point. The sight of his eyes bugging out of his head and his gaze flicking between the butler and the earl was highly comical. Finny seemed frozen in embarrassment. Sebastian sighed again and moved to follow his young master's orders but Ciel stopped him with a word, "No. Not you Sebastian."

"My lord?"

"Idiot, she'll just faint again. It was probably seeing you that did it in the first place. At least she'll have something to think about later."

Sebastian frowned at him. "Mey-rin? I don't know what you mean."

"Honestly, are you so infatuated with my damn soul you can't even tell when a human is lusting after you?" Ciel scoffed, rolling his eyes. Though both were clearly visible just now, the uncovered right eye seemed to be the least of anyone's concern.

Sebastian shrugged. "If I remember correctly, young master, I was quite well aware of your own lustful thoughts about me."

"Pervert, of course you were."

Bard made a choked sound in the back of his throat and collapsed into a nearby chair. Sebastian pursed his lips in annoyance, glancing at the cook before turning to Finny. He touched the young man's shoulder, making him start violently.

"M-Mr. S-Sebastian?" he asked hesitantly, clearly unsure if he was about to be punished. "I'm sorry I looked I'm sorry!"

"Hush," Sebastian sighed, one eye glancing back to Ciel who leaned against the door frame tapping an impatient foot. Now that the little tempter was in front of him again—and really his shirt looked just delectable on him—he was feeling his arousal begin to cloud his mind again. Not that it had ever really left his thoughts, as a demon he was not troubled by performance issues even in the direst of circumstances, but it had slipped to the back of his concentration. He shook himself and returned his attention to the gardener. 

"I must admit, I am more interested in continuing my previous pursuit than I am in punishing the three of you for this little incident. However, I must make one thing clear and seeing as you seem to be the only one in possession of any of your faculties just now, I will say this to you: if any of you breathe a word of what you have seen in this kitchen today I will use you to build that bonfire. That is a promise. Understood?"

"Y-yes, Mr. Sebastian. I wouldn't dream of it. Um, it's not really our, um, business anyway and—"

"Good. Now do help Mey-rin off the floor. Perhaps a lie down will suit her nerves. And see to it that this kitchen is cleaned so that I—" this was directed loudly in Bard's direction— "can prepare the master's dinner on time."

"Of course, Mr. Sebastian."

"Are you quite done?" Ciel demanded flatly. "I'm beginning to wonder if my own hand will have to be sufficient."

This time it was Bard who dropped to the floor in a dead faint, falling from his seat in a heap. Finny went, if possible, even redder, and scurried to help his fallen comrades.

Sebastian turned an amused smirk on Ciel. "If I didn't know better, my lord, I'd say you were quite enjoying yourself."

Ciel huffed. "Well it isn't every day I get to stake my claim so obviously, is it?"

"Hmmmm," Sebastian mused, "I suppose not. I should like to have a similar opportunity the next time Lady Elizabeth feels the need to try kissing your mouth."

"Sebastian!" Ciel snapped in warning.

Sebastian only laughed and strode across the room with quick, purposeful movements. He scooped the little earl up into his arms without breaking stride and spirited them back up the stairs, completely ignoring the groggy voice from behind them: "Bloody hell, I just had the most disturbing nightmare."

"Now," Sebastian said, "about the act of staking one's claim . . . I believe we were in the middle of something, were we not?"


End file.
